Following last weeks Birthday Post - 31 Artist Thoughts - it got me thinking about the future.
And I've still got this quote from a course swimming about in my brain:

Dreams stay dreams unless we do something about it.
So I'm looking back at what I wanted to 'be' when I was a kid.
I love that.
I did a course with my dear pal Caitlin recently about calming your nervous system around money.
It turned out pretty great in the end and had some practical applications -
I think our respective partners did believe we had joined a cult, but we roll!
I followed the host on LinkedIn - so I don't think we did?
(that is a joke. Kate Northup is a cool cat and had some great stuff to say on compound interest, financial compursion and adding value to your life.)

Her mantra is about learning to 'be' before we learn to 'do'.
Working from a place of grounded resonance.

I've noticed I've done a big circle and I'm back to where I started but with more knowledge this time around.
I wanted to make art.
Play characters on stage.
Teach.
and I think I wanted to be a vet - but honestly. I know I am way too much of an emotional sponge for that. Maybe I will satisfy this by getting a pet again.

I tried the 'make a living acting' and it turned out - not fun.
To be fair to myself I had 0 plans and I was also not very well.
So I'm returning to the am dram roots and having fun again.

I tried the teaching out - in the form of coaching.
I liked it but I knew it wasn't fully me (the emotional sponge thing).

So I'm back to art.
And I'm looking at what went wrong from a place of curiosity.
- Have a plan 
- Understand business 
- Don't avoid the sticky stuff - it's the most important (accounts, maths, complicated stuff).
​
So them's the goals right?
​
That's how we get the dream into a reality - we put it in a calendar and work backwards.
And get sweaty palms when we publish shops.
And get a fast heartbeat when we message a customer the first time.
We keep going.

1. Get some art into a gallery - feel like the real deal!
2. Get that YT following - make a community!
3. Teach some art - get someone else inspired!
4. Paint some portraits - help people feel seen through art.

That's my dream list for now.
One day I might look at it and think it's small in comparison - for now - it's pretty big.
I'm a fan of dreaming a step at a time.
I'll let you know if they get any bigger!

Why 31?
​Well, today - I am 31!
​🥳

​Somehow that kid on the left is 31? 

31 Thoughts on creative/art things just for you.

1. Art block is an important time in life - its you facing your resistance and perfectionism. It's you needing a rest. It's normal and it will end and you'll work out how to get through by getting quiet and listening to yourself.

2. You should keep at least one creativity practice just for you in my opinion - no posting, no sharing - just for you to get your feels out or to mindlessly create.

3. Find the little reward that gets you to do the tougher stuff - mine is stickers.

4. Every time you feel like you hate what you're making - take a break.

5. Take a break before you hate it.

6. Find the time of the day you feel the most creative and use it. Aka don't force yourself to create at 9am if you are not a 9am person. Alter working hours accordingly. 

7. It is ok to buy a present for someone's birthday even if you are 'usually' the one who makes them.

8. Put your tea and your paint water on separate surfaces if possible.

9. You don't have to finish every project if you don't need to. I mean, if it's a client project obviously you do - but if it's a half felted hedgehog - it's ok - you can let it go.

10. Write or doodle the 'idea' that pops up down as soon as you get it.

Zoe, about 14.

​11. Have a notebook handy for this purpose! One you look at regularly and can weed out the good stuff or look at when your imagination has run dry.

12. Give yourself permission to adapt and shift in your style and in your practice.

13. Sit with your mental blocks and your resistance to things - you learn a lot in these moments when you approach them with curiosity and not blame. Do this with journaling, meditation and I recommend talking to yourself.

14. Don't belittle your old work - I've definitely done this - it was coming from a place of insecurity. I was trying my best back then and I'm trying my best now. I've improved and I'm proud. You never know who is watching and where they are at in their own journey.

​15. You're going to end up loving what you loved as a kid and called 'cringe' as a teen so you might as well lean into it.

16. You have to be prepared to be not good to start whatever you're starting.

17. Buy a bigger canvas.

18. You are going to finish pieces you don't like.

19. Always account for a 'Pandora's Box' in a big project. Just write PB and give it wiggle room. Something is going to go wrong at some point.

20. Admit when you need help. The more you do it the more you'll see it coming and the less it will be about crisis management.

It's me - I think I'm 24.

21. No one is going to call you an artist until you call yourself one.

22. Put the date in the diary to make the thing. Stick to it.

23. Just because someone is 'already doing it' doesn't mean that you shouldn't. I.e. someone already paints woodland creatures with little party hats. WELL. I think the world needs MORE.

24. Shop local business when you can - it gives people so much joy.

25. Take a sketchbook wherever you can.

26. Your sketchbook does not need to and, in my opinion, should not need to, look like a finished piece of art.

27. Celebrate the creatives around you whenever and in whatever way you can. They need the love!

28. Art is a voice for the voiceless.

29. Talk to your self employed friends about your business goals - they get it and they might have some amazing advice. Listen to their stories too.

30. Paint the thing that either slightly scares you or makes you nervous. Do it.
​
31. If you can get your face painted like a dragon you should.

Finding time and space for creativity again.

I mentioned it in the 'Bury a Friend' behind the scenes video - but making 'photoshoots' is something I've been doing since I was a kid. That - and making YouTube parodies in the summer holidays with friends. The most cherished memories. Just the kids who took a DSLR and random clothes in a bag to a field to simply make stuff.

Doing the same thing recently when I felt the need to change up my reference person (from myself) - it felt like stepping back in time - galivanting around with a bag of outfits and at one point
​- a large fake sword...

​ I've added some examples of baby Zoe and gang below.

I went through many stages with how I felt about this hobby.
I think we all go through those phases that we cringe at as we get older.
But I think I've somehow managed to come full circle!
Because, at the end of the day - it's harmless fun and childlike creativity. Not putting too many structures in place and going - hey - let's make something.

We seemingly had all this 'free time' as kids.
Our brains weren't as full thinking about bills for one!
I think time was more relative, slower even. We got this 6 week block of time we knew was coming each year smack bang in the middle of summer.
I've found the best thing is sticking the photoshoot in my diary and keeping to it. Once my brain recognises 'oh, we're taking this seriously? It's actually in the diary?' - it gets done.
Something else more important will always take over otherwise.
It's not always something more fun either.
But if I know I've scheduled in creative time then I somehow find time to do the hoovering.
They are both 'important'.

Not necessarily the original descriptive word for an unsteady shine - but in the sense of what it has more recently been known to describe:
Tiny, positive moments in the day that light you up.

So here are my 5 from a quiet day that made me smile.

​because I'm actually excited to return to my painting or work.

I make myself take a walk around 2pm each day - especially if I'm in a 'can't stop gotta go, go, go!' mode. At times it's like trying to convince a toddler that the next thing is actually going to be good for them. But it's always the right thing. Especially for convincing myself that
"things are actually okay and I do have time".
So I make myself walk slower on the way back.
Regulate my breath.
And smile because I know I want to rush back out of passion not panic.

Because I'm actually making enough art for once in my life.

I had that initial tube of white for years.
Painting sporadically or using it for highlights occasionally. But what a joy to have finished a tube - look at the paintings it made! To actually use up paint before it crisps up and mummifies itself.

And I put it onto a list to make a reality!

Creative flow mode means ideas are coming in fast. And sieve brain means they need putting down on a list that is checked regularly if they have any chance of seeing the light of day. Sometimes if priority permits - I let myself start a new project in the middle of a current one! Mostly I pop them into a note app and then into a tracker - sometimes they're golden. Sometimes they would suit a later date. Sometimes - they need the spotlight! 
I used to find this frustrating - telling myself to focus and to stop generating ideas mid idea. But now I note them down and my brain feels pretty groovy with this transaction.

Looking over at the 'mess' on my desk and knowing it's from creative flow.

There is a definite difference between 'dirt', 'mess' and 'creative chaos' to me - and I can only thrive in the last two for a few days. Navigating the feelings around leaving things messy has been interesting - but now I see a desk of someone who is making stuff and in her flow - so I let her be.

And imagining it hanging in a gallery or in someone else's home.
I used to paint a portrait or something - then once dry I'd put it back into a big sketchbook and put it underneath my desk. Hanging up my art was a big step. But now I see how important a step it has been to me. Being surrounded by inspiration from both other artists and my own work keeps me in the right mindset for creating. When doubt steps in I simply redirect and go "Look. You're already doing it - keep going."

Another business course - another review!

Right - This was for a workbook exercise - but I'm imagining how cool it would be to offer one day and, more importantly, what actions I can take to get there. 

Recently I've been signing up to free courses to learn as much as I can about business
- because, I want to do it right this time.
​I've lucked out massively - the Kick Off series gave me Paula and Amir and they have been smashing hosts. Polar opposites in delivery style but both strong, motivating and supportive.

I am not sponsored - I just want to share what has helped me in the hope it helps someone else.
https://www.kickoffinbusiness.co.uk/

The Digital Promotion workshop has been a huge learning curve in examining how ZDAAP exists within the art service space. It's got me thinking very deeply about what I want to do here for people. How I want to sell. What I'd like to be known for.

I always shied away massively from properly promoting my work or even making a business plan  - mostly because
a.) I thought it made me annoying
b.) I hadn't got a clue how to do it or where
c.) I was convinced I needed to be able to do maths?! (Now I've written this I realise it seems mad)

The confidence that doing these courses has instilled in me is palpable.
​
I started to notice myself putting my (virtual) hand up more - wanting to know more.
Amir was great at giving 1-1 answers and going off to find the answer if he didn't know.
I feel more confident in how I'm talking about my business - the fact I am calling it a business and not downplaying it as 'oh, yeah, it's just some art stuff I do'.

There was some heavy information on AI which was both interesting and terrifying. So if you aren't interested at exploring this at all - keep that in mind. It is possible to do your business without using it - don't let it put you off - but I think it is very good to be well informed about what is out there and what a lot of businesses are currently using.

I'd also like to mention how much I appreciated Amir sharing his story and what led him into business. I found his determination and drive both moving and motivating. I will not however, my friend, be getting up at 3 am - I shall leave that to you.
I hope to see you in July for that business expo!

His last answer to my question about what keeps people going was,
"keep asking for help".

Wishing all fellow small business owners the very best in this madness.
You got this.

We start with the alternative arguement - 
it's bad for productivity
it slows you down 
it distracting
etc. etc. 

For my brain - it's like taking off the barriers and going "off you go! be free!".

I speak from an ADHD framework here so if multitasking and habit stacking sound like a nightmare to you - kudos.
I see it as permission to switch up what you're doing whenever you need - with one golden rule:

​The pomodoro method can be a a multi-tasking baseline in disguise if you let it.
(it's named after a tomato timer - it's nothing fancy).
Breaks are the other task you want to do - 
I like a loose version of this :20-25 minutes main task, 5-10 other task x4 - break. - rinse and repeat.
Sometimes I find it's the only way I can complete tasks that are
- boring
- hard
or the dreaded combo - boring and hard.

Essentially - it's definitely more chaotic to lean into multi-tasking but I find I get my most creative, interesting ideas doing it this way. 

They are here.
HooRAY.

For now they reside via Printiful through the Shop above.
You can get them up to A2 size which is close to the original.

I dream of having them in a shop properly one day.
To flick through a collection of prints with your hands.
Imagining them in your house.
Or who you know that would love it the most.
Truly a calming experience whenever I get a chance to do that in a gallery or an art shop.

So for now they are available here.
I'd love to see yours in it's new home - drop me a message!
(Especially if you manage to get a small, furry creature or yourself in shot too :D)
When I first painted them I didn't really dream of releasing them as prints - but it's people's feedback that made me want to do it.
I know not everyone is able to budget for a full scale commission piece-
heck I know I'm not currently!
But I always loved being able to own a little piece of an artists work I love.

​Thanks for being here.

29/04/2025 - A moment of realness.

Today I woke up with an inherent grumpiness - to what I have slowly realised is a defence - a steeling against change and opportunity.
​I open the shop in two days and I am still excited but I am also nervous!
It's been a lot of behind the scenes stuff - trialling and editing and learning (lots of learning) - so my brain wants a pay off, naturally.
But I am committed to this slow, steady growth of ZDAAP in this new direction.
I am selling my own art - much easier said than done. 
Art is feeling and connection and beauty. Trying to convince yourself it's worth pursuing as a career is hard enough so putting on a marketing cap is not easy.
I'm going to finish my coffee.
I'm thankful I've managed to name my apprehension and invite it in for a coffee too.

A final thought:
This post has been in my drafts - for months.
I am so happy it's finally released into the wild along with the prints.

Bonus - my actual face when I pressed 'publish' on my shop.