running a one woman art business.

Disclaimer - these photos are 10 years apart ok I just wanted to illustrate the point.

Sunday scaries are so much less scary when it's a job that is flexible. 
Good god this is huge.
Mornings are usually quite slow (and I'm still working with some residual unfounded guilt about this) - but it means I can mostly function 4/5 days a week and that is with evening plans IN THE WEEK. Consider me astounded.
Clocking in at a desk where the 'to do lists' are all building a business of my own is, in the most part, a wonderful feeling.
This is a win for anyone but it's amazing for anyone who knows chronic illness.

Making a sale - either a print or a commission.
You best believe I cheer for each one that comes in.
Forever grateful that people collect and enjoy my work.
This is not the only reason I make art - but it is a huge part of why I went into business with it. Having the literal payoff hit the bank feels good. I get some for me and the rest goes back into the business to help it grow. Paying yourself a wage when you have known surviving in the red month to month, is an unmatched feeling.

Meeting other creatives!
The joy to know you have something to offer and to also understand their journey at the same time.
Whether they take the shape of friends, mentors, collaborations, inspirations or all of these at the same time.
The boost of meeting with another gives you a skip in your step and proves - it is possible -see!

The combined audacity and joy to call myself an artist when people ask 'what do you do' is like fuel to me.
At first it felt weird  - but the longer I treated my work as a business the more confident I felt in saying it.

Not knowing where your next payment is coming.
Is terrifying. Trapped somewhere between hustle and trust the universe - it's up and down in the first few years (and so I repeat to myself). Some months it feels like an abundant taste of the future you hope for. And some months it is watching your reserve float start to chip away at itself. It's scary and it's exciting and it's important to keep talking about things with loved ones alongside having a solid plan of what to do next.

Not knowing what to do next to grow. Juggling multiple avenues of potential income all with varying ways of showing up - and knowing which one to lean into most is so hard as a small business owner. Your time and effort has to be split and it's not always clear which one is going to pay off. Even studying your past successes and failures isn't a failsafe way to gain custom and following.

The nerves that turn up when you need to 'market yourself'. I can't speak for everyone - but I'll say showing up to a job when you're not feeling your best but are guaranteed a paycheck feels easier at times. Having to 'market yourself' and seperate yourself from being only your business is difficult.

Getting overwhelmed in an artist doomscroll and suddenly feeling very small and insignificant.
gET. OFF. YOUr. Damn. PHONE. It's really hard to fall into the 'I am a content creator' trap when you have decided to try and exist on the platforms. Let's face it - it'd feel pretty lonely a lot of the time if you didn't.

 Sometimes it feels a lot like you're having a phone conversation with a mute.
Following up cold leads is anxiety inducing. Sending out a mailing list with no clear indication of the impact feels like insanity. Posting and not knowing from the insights how it was received because engagement was low. It does feel a lot like 'what's the point' - IF you let it. There is a point - you go back to your original why and your original realisation - I'll make art no matter what.

The little voice in the back of your head in quiet sales months that is freaking out and telling you to give up. It can get really loud if you let it - so you really have to look after yourself. I'm talking meditate, talk to people, go for a walk, put your fucking phone down, get into the right space physically and re remind yourself why you do it. Go and look at some art.

When you realise you've been sucked back into social media gratification (despite your best efforts), putting too much effort into a post and getting 3 likes. There's a reason it's such a lucrative business for Zuck and his mates ok? They know what they're doing. Write down your whys and values and goals and keep going back to them.

When worry starts to keep you awake. Take a break. Sleep hygiene is HUGE.

When you try hard with an aspect and it doesn't pay off. YOU decide if it was worth it. It might have sown a seed somewhere and it's all part of the bigger picture.

​Recognising that your original audience will have shifted now you post differently. Also that the original audience probably doesn't even see your work anymore. Yeeeesh - a big one. It's ugly. Sometimes it would be easier to assume that your follower count is 20 and whoever you physically spoke to that month ok?

You have to accept the fact progress is going to be slow. And then find further acceptance it will be slower because you do not have the stamina of a Wall Street yuppie on a shit load of cocaine - that you may in fact have the pace of an 85 year retired person on a stroll despite the fact their knees hurt and can tell it's going to rain.

The spreadsheets & The menial tasks that take forever and you haven't done anything 'creative' in days.
Oh the weird cold sweat and brain wiping blockade I come up against dealing with numbers. But numbers are the stable blocks the business is built on - so I fight through it.

There really isn't much I find 'boring' with this job. I'm so thankful for the mentor support I have to help me deal with the aspects of business that fry my brain. I plod on through the admin with my easel beside me and know it'll be painting time again soon.​

It is worth it every single day I wake up to try again.
It feels like I answered a calling more than 'chose a career'.
I finally answer the question of 'where do you see yourself in 5 years' with - 'making art' - which I never was able to answer before.

So even though it's been a quiet winter of seed sowing - I'm looking forward to what will bloom come summer.

Guess who got first access to prints and to the shop and is about to
get early access to the new section of my website that I am buzzzzing (excuse bee pun) about?

SnailMail Gang - you got it!

Hell yeah it does!

Guess who got  automatic entry in the most recent giveaway  and was still allowed to enter

SNAIL MAIL GANG!

Plus they had big thank you's in the form of discount!

Ok this ones a freebie for anyone who reads this blog anyway-
But guess who knows about my plans to move over to Patreon?

LET'S GO SNAILSSSSS

They also knew about the print shop first which is very cool.

I appreciate your words and feedback.
Hearing about it after a snail mail has dropped means I know you're on board.
And I will forever be thankful for that.

The confirmation email lurks in there

it is a mythical beast that must be tamed.

Or it doesn't count.
Pls 
Hhahahha.

also if society collapses or something I feel like I might still be able to contact you. ty.

and I appreciate your discretion as I whack one advert at the end of a blog to attempt to gain about £0.01 pence.
Ty.

Graffiti I found in Correlejo that I used in the cover for this one.

As I mentioned during the evening - my Originals For Sale Page is in the works.
It will be open in March.
Thank you for your patience.
To gain early access feel free to join my mailing list too!

check your junk mail for the confirmation.

I have to mention Sukhi - in charge of bringing the creatives we met together.
Her art is pictured just above and a very poignant poem from her book below.
Thank you Sukhi!

Thank you to the Elephant Rooms social media team who's photos I have borrowed for here - I forgot to take many!

It was a transformative evening,
I always look forward to my return.

oH, we're taking it old school.
No plan.
No call to action.
Just rambling and doodling a blog post out of thin air.
I think things got a little too wrapped up in 'how can I make this a catchy title' at some point last year.
And I howl to think of the traffic that actually made it to this sentence.
That's not to do myself a disservice I know my die hards are there - I love you.
All 3 of ya.
Maybe more - who knows!

How fun it is (and also the feeling of having a giant spotlight put on you - you're in the middle of the stage and the light is creaking in the silence for a second as you adjust your collar) when someone says - "I read your blog".
Then you relax and stop panicking that this isn't 2009 and no one is reading your livejournal.
You published this stuff on purpose thinking people might read it.

Listen forget AI slop I am literally capable of making my own.

I'm excited for February's 'content' - I slightly crumple at this word because of it's bad rap.
BUT.
it is really, really cool and I'm very proud of it.
It'll be mostly over on YouTube for yall.
I want to keep making projects like this because it's pure creative flow and joy and never feels like work.

Anyway.
In the same vein as keeping it light and rambly I thought you might like to see my Jan doods.
I finished a sketchbook and started a new one which is very cool.
I immediately broke the spine of the new bookwhich I can see Harriet coiling away in horror at.
It's why she won't lend me any of her extensive library despite recommending the majority of it to me.
I don't blame her.
I read in the bath.

1000% recommend Knives Out trilogy if you are looking for a rec. 

Brb off to make a ridiculous clock neck chain.
Has anyone got either a spare cuckoo clock or one of those black and white cat clocks.
The one with the shifty side eye.
​Context - The Wedding Singer Grandma rap.

Ramblings. Anyone used to race raindrops down the window too?
Recommend revisiting.

Some ramblings about getting daylight.
And one badly drawn picture of Amy flipping the birds.

The cutest babygirl ever to have babygirled.
Soup.

Alas, she is not ours.
We are her Air B&B whilst Sky & Tommi are off on holiday.
But we are determined to find our own this year...
​So watch this space.

It's December 11th writing this.
I just had 2 coffees.
And I'm writing stuff for January as 

you and I that is - on this blog.
But we're back babeh.
And we're gonna look at the chaotic piece of... art? That was and is -

and that is more than ok.

WE MADE ART!
WE JUMPED INTO THE SEA WITH FRIENDS OFF A PIRATE SHIP AND GOT WHIPLASH
WE HAD A GARDEN CINEMA - MULTIPLE TIMES
WE WENT TO GREECE
WE DID ... try to work on our posture (shrimp).
WE DID EXERCISE OUR INNER DEMONS.
WE DID YELL PINK PONY CLUB AT MULTIPLE WEDDINGS 

aMAZING.
​
We are yet to:
Get inked again
Fully transform into Silvermist from Tinkerbell? Honestly, unsure.
Remember to work on Rebel CLub badges

WE DID DO SOME DANCIN'!
WE DID EAT EGGS!
WE ALSO ATE CHEESE!
WE DID INDEED GO HARD AND THEN GO HOME!
WE DID BUILD SOME GOOD HABITS!
SET UP ART BUSINESS HOORAY!

We are still to (at this moment in time):
Acquire cat
Do pottery (if Laura see's this she is simply going to YELL at me about Fonda and his pottery store in Greece but I was dying of heat ok I'm sorry)

It cost me about £3 and I looked at it almost daily.
Putting a mixture of 'I already have this plan'
and 
'I'd like to do this'
really helped with the vibes.

Doing it with friends around was the best way to start the year.
We had a good vibe.
It did however make my back hurt because I am over 30 and apparently can't craft on the floor for multiple hours without pain. Ty spine.

Have an excellent 2026 everyone.
Let's goooooooo.

My Instagram archives go wayyyyyyy back - apparently as far as 2017 (I've had it longer).
So I went on a little journey to catch the vibe of what the run up to Christmas was like in image form for you.
And - importantly due to the title of the blog - the dates surrounding them. 

What I found in general was:

1. The years I was juggling 2 jobs - I was working as and when I could and running myself into the ground
2. I was usually sick around Christmas on top of this
3. I obviously wasn't posting what I was making at this time because they were gifts or cards (duh) so most of it was unseen

In general the theme seemed to be - a severe lack of time and lots of last minute requests.

Setting a deadline at first felt like telling people I didn't care about their Christmas requests - but it is the opposite.

I for one am not the most organised person - despite my efforts and ability to run this business.
I live for my calendar but planning ahead Life Things™ gets difficult on top of this -
that includes planning ahead in time for Christmas.

And part of the problem is the workload on top of all the festive meetups and parties and general Christmas madness.
 
So I figured if I set up a deadline day - we're all on the same page.
Enough time for me to make and paint your requests in good time.
Enough time to get it to the Post Office.
And hopefully - enough time to breathe around Christmas time.

Big supermarkets have had their Christmas stock on the shelves since Halloween.
Beyond my Autumn/Winter Prints my 'stock' isn't a physical thing until we've had that chat.

Doing ZDAAP this year and going forwards one of my goals is to create a business that values time and rest.
​So that means sticking to my guns too (eek).

Everyone deserves to enjoy their holidays.
I had way too many years having to use mine as recovery time from burning myself out.

What about you?
Does this ring a little too true for you?

I'm keeping todays very short indeed (just like me!).
Just to wish you all a very Happy Halloween.
As we journey into November I hope you are taking care of your needs and mental wellbeing.

I'm doing a little 'rebrand' (that feels so funny to call it that when I'm literally just changing my profile pics and throwing in images from this shoot with @whatmonloves.ph).
It's a little Halloween treat to myself ok?!

I'm writing this ahead of time to try and scoop out some spoons for myself post show week.
​And I've decided this is enough.

Inktober is an annual month-long online art challenge created by artist Jake Parker in 2009,
​where participants draw an ink illustration each day in October. 

I said to Dale "I can't think about what to write for the last post of September!"
And he grinned and jokingly said "ME!".
But I replied "That's not a bad idea".
I have no idea if he remembers that conversation or not - but hey - this one's for you!

How many artists, creatives and self employed business owners couldn't do what they do - or have started out - without their second in command?

I sneakily took the above picture - we'd gone out in search of (another) September birthday gift and some groceries.
And came back with groceries... and canvases.
One so big I could barely carry it.
Hence the photo.
But it encapsulates it perfectly.
The quiet support alongside making whatever it is you do that keeps you going when you've got nothing left.

It's our anniversary on Sunday - so Happy Anniversary you wonderful man.

I think of how many other people out there were able to make the leap supported by the person (and people) who love them.
Through all the money worries and meltdowns and moments of doubt.

I set up ZDAAP again in March after a long, long time of not getting anywhere with interviews.
I could not have done it without him.
I remember asking him early on - "you believe me right? - I've got this - I'm gonna make it happen"
and he said
"Zoe, if I didn't believe in you - you'd be working in a supermarket right now".
(this is by no means meant as a disrespect to supermarket workers - it just meant - you'd have chucked it in and gone back to job searching if I didn't believe in you.)
​Anyway - it's a blue post it stuck in my prereferral vision to a board.

We went to see an art exhibition early on in the revamp.
That's when I truly knew he was onboard team support.
Absolute trust that we get this thing going and don't let go until it supports us both one day.
We saw an exhibition of work that proved it was possible - I think we all need regular injections of that to stave off the doubt demons.

So, thank you.
Thanks for being you.
Thanks for being the best office partner around the corner.
Thanks for the coffee.
Thanks for the tea.
Thank you for keeping us afloat whilst I've been building steadily.
Thanks for your honest comments and for saving your high praise for when you really like something.
Thanks for the logic to balance out the chaos.
Thank you for the following comments on my recent work:

"It makes me want to play Skyrim"
"It looks like a portal out of Minecraft"
"It looks like something out of the Witcher"

​Dale I am sensing a theme here.