Getting in your own way

We do it - all the time.
Getting in our own way to avoid things.
For the scary, for the uncomfortable and for the difficult.
But a lot of times those parcels hold something special inside - growth.

Sometimes you come across a piece of work that perfectly encapsulates how you felt that week - this is one I saw (what will now be last week but it's today as I'm writing this). Here's the piece:

Artist - Nasimeh Be Instagram

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I thought it would be a good pause point so you can ask yourself:

How are you getting in your own way?

I'll be honest and tell you mine if you like.
​
I didn't tick any of the 'I'd like to play this role' boxes on my audition for the next show,
​because I didn't think:
​
1. I'd be able to handle the rehearsal schedule without a flare up.
2. I hadn't auditioned for (drumroll please) 9 years.
3. I was worried it wouldn't be fun to have that kind of pressure again.

But guess what?

1. It turns out the team at LEOs team literally already knew this and aren't discriminatory (oh god who'd imagine - if any of you lot read this I would never think this about yall but I am just great at getting in my own way and mayybbbbbee that internalised ableism is trying to take them reins)
2. A lot has changed in that time - for good.
3. I don't think there's anything more fun than playing a New Jersey Grandma dripping in gold jewellery, who pronounces father 'FWATHA' and makes hilarious remarks.
​
Sometimes it's good to take the pressure off.
But sometimes - a bit of pressure (the right kind) is good -


I mean, have you tried to eat an un-popped popcorn kernel?


​
So after missing the cast announcement and then reeling from the surprise after the voice notes from my sister and friends.

In the words of Grandma Rosie from The Wedding Singer,
"Ahh yew nervous?"

Yes mate,
​Cacking it,
​I guess I'll be doing it nervous.

The vibe.