What I learned in a year as an artist

running a one woman art business.

Disclaimer - these photos are 10 years apart ok I just wanted to illustrate the point.

The Good

Sunday scaries are so much less scary when it's a job that is flexible. 
Good god this is huge.
Mornings are usually quite slow (and I'm still working with some residual unfounded guilt about this) - but it means I can mostly function 4/5 days a week and that is with evening plans IN THE WEEK. Consider me astounded.
Clocking in at a desk where the 'to do lists' are all building a business of my own is, in the most part, a wonderful feeling.
This is a win for anyone but it's amazing for anyone who knows chronic illness.

Making a sale - either a print or a commission.
You best believe I cheer for each one that comes in.
Forever grateful that people collect and enjoy my work.
This is not the only reason I make art - but it is a huge part of why I went into business with it. Having the literal payoff hit the bank feels good. I get some for me and the rest goes back into the business to help it grow. Paying yourself a wage when you have known surviving in the red month to month, is an unmatched feeling.

Meeting other creatives!
The joy to know you have something to offer and to also understand their journey at the same time.
Whether they take the shape of friends, mentors, collaborations, inspirations or all of these at the same time.
The boost of meeting with another gives you a skip in your step and proves - it is possible -see!

The combined audacity and joy to call myself an artist when people ask 'what do you do' is like fuel to me.
At first it felt weird  - but the longer I treated my work as a business the more confident I felt in saying it.

The Bad

Not knowing where your next payment is coming.
Is terrifying. Trapped somewhere between hustle and trust the universe - it's up and down in the first few years (and so I repeat to myself). Some months it feels like an abundant taste of the future you hope for. And some months it is watching your reserve float start to chip away at itself. It's scary and it's exciting and it's important to keep talking about things with loved ones alongside having a solid plan of what to do next.

Not knowing what to do next to grow. Juggling multiple avenues of potential income all with varying ways of showing up - and knowing which one to lean into most is so hard as a small business owner. Your time and effort has to be split and it's not always clear which one is going to pay off. Even studying your past successes and failures isn't a failsafe way to gain custom and following.

The nerves that turn up when you need to 'market yourself'. I can't speak for everyone - but I'll say showing up to a job when you're not feeling your best but are guaranteed a paycheck feels easier at times. Having to 'market yourself' and seperate yourself from being only your business is difficult.

Getting overwhelmed in an artist doomscroll and suddenly feeling very small and insignificant.
gET. OFF. YOUr. Damn. PHONE. It's really hard to fall into the 'I am a content creator' trap when you have decided to try and exist on the platforms. Let's face it - it'd feel pretty lonely a lot of the time if you didn't.

The Ugly

 Sometimes it feels a lot like you're having a phone conversation with a mute.
Following up cold leads is anxiety inducing. Sending out a mailing list with no clear indication of the impact feels like insanity. Posting and not knowing from the insights how it was received because engagement was low. It does feel a lot like 'what's the point' - IF you let it. There is a point - you go back to your original why and your original realisation - I'll make art no matter what.

The little voice in the back of your head in quiet sales months that is freaking out and telling you to give up. It can get really loud if you let it - so you really have to look after yourself. I'm talking meditate, talk to people, go for a walk, put your fucking phone down, get into the right space physically and re remind yourself why you do it. Go and look at some art.

When you realise you've been sucked back into social media gratification (despite your best efforts), putting too much effort into a post and getting 3 likes. There's a reason it's such a lucrative business for Zuck and his mates ok? They know what they're doing. Write down your whys and values and goals and keep going back to them.

When worry starts to keep you awake. Take a break. Sleep hygiene is HUGE.

When you try hard with an aspect and it doesn't pay off. YOU decide if it was worth it. It might have sown a seed somewhere and it's all part of the bigger picture.

​Recognising that your original audience will have shifted now you post differently. Also that the original audience probably doesn't even see your work anymore. Yeeeesh - a big one. It's ugly. Sometimes it would be easier to assume that your follower count is 20 and whoever you physically spoke to that month ok?

You have to accept the fact progress is going to be slow. And then find further acceptance it will be slower because you do not have the stamina of a Wall Street yuppie on a shit load of cocaine - that you may in fact have the pace of an 85 year retired person on a stroll despite the fact their knees hurt and can tell it's going to rain.

The Boring

The spreadsheets & The menial tasks that take forever and you haven't done anything 'creative' in days.
Oh the weird cold sweat and brain wiping blockade I come up against dealing with numbers. But numbers are the stable blocks the business is built on - so I fight through it.

There really isn't much I find 'boring' with this job. I'm so thankful for the mentor support I have to help me deal with the aspects of business that fry my brain. I plod on through the admin with my easel beside me and know it'll be painting time again soon.​

The Take Away

It is worth it every single day I wake up to try again.
It feels like I answered a calling more than 'chose a career'.
I finally answer the question of 'where do you see yourself in 5 years' with - 'making art' - which I never was able to answer before.

So even though it's been a quiet winter of seed sowing - I'm looking forward to what will bloom come summer.

Come Join The mAILING lIST - i'D lOVE tO hAVE yOU!